05.08.08

Thankyou so much for the comments and notes, it means alot to me.

His funeral was today. I couldnt even go because of my bloody back, so that made me feel even more guilty.

I still havent found another racehorse yet. I was thinking about sticking with the big share ive got in the boy still, but Eric had said that he'd renew the contract if i still liked the horse, which at the moment i cant afford such a huge amount of money. So im thinking a much smaller share at about £400 would be ok atleast for this year as a memorial thing.. i guess that would be ok?

God i need something to go right for me right now, just one thing

30.07.08

I got a phonecall from my aunt last night.

Eric was the driver and assistant, to my moms godmother, Agnes. He died last night. I was always allowed to call him uncle Eric

Agnes had a daughter called Zoe, who from just in her teens, decided to devote her whole life to looking after her mother, as Agnes had alot of health problems.
Eric lived in their house from when Zoe was 23, looking after and driving Agnes wherever needed. He had asked Zoe to marry him when she was 28, but she refused as she didnt want to have distractions from looking after her mother.

Eric stayed by their side despite being turned down several times, and Zoe looked after her mom, until Agnes died at the age of 98 only 4-5 years ago. She went deaf and blind in her last years, which is the only memories i have of Agnes.

Eric proposed again and Zoe accepted.

They arent blood family, or even really family, however they have always been included in our family as they have stayed very close with my grandma [obviously] and i


Eric was very into his racehorses, being a trainer in the past, but has owned his own racehorses for the past 30 years with his racing partner. He was one of the main influences as to why i wanted to get into racing, it was his racehorses that i had my first experiences of being up on an in-training racehorse with, and i exercised them whenever i went to go see them after i turned 16.

Ever since i was little, instead of giving me christmas presents, he bought me a small share in a racehorse [of course in his name] which i absoloutley loved.

He was diagnosed with Esophageal cancer 6 weeks before his wedding. He had always had problems with eating and keeping weight, but as you can imagine this was devastating. It made him even weaker, and he was just so frail..

Because they had been so busy getting their new home sorted, he missed two christmasses for everyone. So my birthday just passed, he bought me two huge £1k shares in a racehorse, Eric knew i love watching and studying the horses progress, and decided i could see how the latest horse progresses through the year as i get back on track too.

He was such an inspiration to me, always had time for me.. i feel absoloutley awful that i didnt get the letter sent to him and Zoe in time that i was writing.. he said he wanted me to get my apprentice and go work at the yard his current horse was at, so he could see me progress. Because of everything, i wasnt able to go to the NRC, and now hes gone.. just one more person I've not had the chance to make them proud of me for, and to say goodbye..

Im still in absoloute shock... i know im going to keep up the yearly tradition of buying a small share in a racehorse.. probably pointless but its all i can think of to do right now.. does that sound too stupid? I dont know when his funeral will be yet.. I feel so so sorry for Zoe.. Eric has not just been her husband for just short of three years, but hes also been a friend her whole life.. I've got no idea what shes going to do with herself now..

I really didnt need to loose him right now.. it was all planned for me to go to his yard after id been to Racing college to be a stable lass for his horses and exercise them.

i just cant believe hes gone.. will properly upload a photo or two of them at their wedding onto DA at some point.

RIP Eric, you will be sorely missed