Jesus christ..

I thought moving here would be amazing, and it has been.. but..

My little cockatiel, April, who ive owned for over 12 years, a month off 13, suddenly got ill 3 days ago. He stayed fluffed up and looked unhappy, he was rushed to the vets several times, including at around 1am last night, he had a chest infection that had suddenly reared its ugly head

My poor, poor baby was too weak to fight it, and he kept deteriorating, even though we crop-sac fed him at the vets and he was on anti biotics.

I took him back to the vets this morning with a very heavy heart, after sleeping on the floor next to him by the fire trying to keep him warm

There was nothing more i could do, and had to make the awful decision to have him put to sleep before he suffered too much

The wonderful cremation people let me put him in a casket without cremating him

I am absoloutley fucking heart broken. April chose me over 12 years ago, and had learned so many songs, whistles and different things to say, all the tapping on shiny things, flirting at me, fluffing up on my shoulder, asking constantly to be tickled on the back of his neck, loving his reflection, stealing my pencils, calling for me, eating only walkers cheese & onion crisps.. the list is just endless


Im just.. speechless.. my eyes are so raw from crying for 3 whole days

I just fucking miss him so much.. it doesnt feel right without him in my home